I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I just found a bag of teeth...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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