I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
