and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
