I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
