Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
