I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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