There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
