Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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