I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
