no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
