I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You can't special order awesome
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
