just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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