i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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