I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
