Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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