a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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