Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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