I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
