I'm gonna have a badass scar
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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