if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You made out with two different species that night
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
