My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
