Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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