oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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