this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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