My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Panties = found
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
