Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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