Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
