I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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