Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
