im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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