HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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