After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
