the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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