what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
