I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
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