I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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