i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
