I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
