I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My legs feel like baby dolphins
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
