i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
