So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
