Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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