If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
