she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
