it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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