seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
