I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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