Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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