I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
