K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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