He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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